Hypnosis - It Takes Two To Tango

People are always asking us whether we can hypnotise everyone. The answer is that it takes two to tango - so no, we can't hypnotise everyone. We can only hypnotise people who want to co-operate and participate in what is really a joint venture.

Some people - usually people who have taken on board all the myths about hypnosis (or watched a lot of those movies that Hammer Horror Studios used to specialise in!) - find it hard to co-operate and participate until we've explained a few things. Like:

• No, you won't lose control.
• No, you won't reveal your innermost secrets.
• No, you won't accept suggestions unless you want to.
• Yes, you will hear everything we say.
• No, hypnosis is not sleep.
• Yes, you will certainly 'wake up'!

After which, of course, hypnosis becomes a real possibility and (in due course) an enjoyable and useful exercise that that those people look forward to - and want to learn to use for themselves at home.

Other people, sadly, see the whole venture as a battle of wills, and don't want to co-operate or participate. At which point, I'm afraid, we cease to want to co-operate or participate, too. Thankyou, goodnight, goodbye and good-riddance. We are not in the business of being protagonists in some unknown cause.

If you think you can benefit from hypnosis - and there are an awful lot of benefits to be had from hypnosis - forget all the myths and the movies. Hypnosis really isn't a step into unknown territory.

• Everybody falls into a hypnotic state every night just before they fall asleep and every morning when they begin to wake up.
• Everybody can fall into the same state sitting in the garden digesting Sunday lunch, or sitting in a deckchair watching the sea.
• A lot of people can do it whilst jogging or showering or ironing - or, alas, driving on monotonous motorways (try not to do that!).

Hypnosis is really just a very pleasant state of total relaxation.

Not romantic. Not a thriller-diller. Nothing to keep you up nights munching crisps and glued to the screen. Almost boring, really.

A session with a hypnotherapist will allow you to enjoy a pleasant daydream or two - and allow your chosen therapist to talk your unconscious mind into helping you achieve what you want to achieve.

But remember: it takes two to tango. You can learn to do it without us - but we can't do without you!

Bill - http://www.therapypartnership.com/

Too Much Input For Our Own Good?

Be afraid! Be very, very afraid!

Sound familiar? Should do. Government and media pump out an unceasing torrent of doom-laden warnings (do this... don't do that) to the effect that we should be afraid of an increasing number of things - one of which is, apparently, playing dangerous games. Like conkers.

In fact - sandwiched between incredibly scary news items - our newpapers, radios and televisions give us literally hundreds of instructions as to how we should live our lives so as to remain 'safe' from the many, many incredibly scary things that are apparently out to get us.

Daily we are told what - and what not! - to eat. Several times every day - practically every five minutes if you listen to Talksport which happens to be sponsored by Nicorette - we are alerted to the dangers of smoking. Then there's drinking. And of course, sex.

All in all, I sometimes think that the cigarettes, the whisky and the wild, wild women won't get the opportunity to drive me insane, because the constant and oppressive drip, drip, drip of dire warnings will get me first - and that's not altogether a joke, because it seems that those warnings are having some very adverse effects on quite a lot people.

The Social Issues Research Centre in Oxford has found that 'shock tactics' in health promotion campaigns may do more harm than good.

Over a three year period the Centre kept checks as to how the public reacted to media coverage of health issues - and discovered hidden psychological consequences which broke down into three adverse reactions.

Top of the list was 'Warning Fatigue'.

The Centre found that the public had simply become 'desensitised' to high-level health scares - had in fact 'turned off', 'tuned out', and stopped listening.

In particular, incidentally, the public has apparently become 'deaf' to advice on exercise and healthy eating. No surprise, then, that despite a concerted campaign over the past decade, obesity has soared in the UK (according to the NHS Information Centre, one in four UK adults is now obese) and weight loss surgery has doubled over the past two years.

Next came 'Risk Factor Phobia'.

This is a condition which results in people becoming irrationally fearful about perceived health hazards posed by their food, their lifestyle or their environment as a direct consequence of the non-stop warnings we all receive about all three of those things - and it's a particularly adverse 'adverse reaction', because an 'irrational fear' is a phobia, and having one of those isn't anybody's idea of a good time. We wrote about phobias recently in our post 'Do The Thing That Scares You'. Wouldn't hurt to go back and read it.

One tell-tale sign of Risk Factor Phobia, incidentally, is a powerful inclination to read, absorb and inwardly digest the contents of newspapers or health magazines. If you feel this inclination growing in yourself, I strongly urge you to curb it today. Sorry about the advice folks...

Last condition the Centre identified? The 'Forbidden Fruit Effect'.

Guess why so many young people smoke...

A lot of the advice we get every day is very good advice. The problem is that there is too much of it, and (in many cases) it is intended to inspire fear rather than rational thought. People can think for themselves and are, on the whole, capable of recognising that they need to do something about their weight or their smoking or any other problem that confronts them. And of, course, there are horses for courses.

Don't let anything make you so afraid that you 'turn off', or cease to be able to make rational decisions about what is good for YOU, personally.

Bill - http://www.therapypartnership.com/

Happiness isn't Hard to Find - But You Have to Play the Game

I think you find happiness by looking around and recognising that there are a lot of people who a lot less fortunate than you are in so very many ways.

I think you can find it by helping other people, and thinking less about yourself and your own problems.

I think you can find it by being positive and looking to the future rather than the past.

I think you can find it by accepting all the good things that each day has to offer and consigning all its negatives to the bin.

Life continually deals everyone a new hand of cards every day. It's up to you how you play each of your hands. Every hand can be a winner - but not if you decide to fold rather than play. However bad it looks, you have to play every hand out with the firm intention of winning. If you do that, you may not scoop the pot every day - but you'll never be a loser either.

Emily - http://www.therapypartnership.com/

Where Do You Find Happiness?

I found a blog today at Self Improvement Blogger .  Well, to tell the truth, Emily found it.

It has a lot going for it - lots of books, lots of interesting stuff - and it's worthwhile looking at it and reading your way through what people have written - but I was struck by one particular comment that had been posted by 'Admin'.  The post read "Is there a way to achieve happiness?  I hope the answer isn't religious texts."

Which is a pretty peculiar comment whichever way you look at it - not least because quite a lot of people do find a degree of happiness (or at least peace of mind!) through religious texts.  Particularly - and sometimes only! - when someone dear to them has died, or they fear that they are dying themselves.

Personally, I think you should grab happiness with both hands wherever you find it - and I don't think that it's something that can be 'achieved'.

You can strive to be promoted, or rich, or famous - and sometimes you can 'achieve' any one or all of those things - but happiness is not something that can be 'achieved'. 

Obviously, you can be happy if you have 'achieved' something, but mostly happiness is a gift that you get from someone else or from the world around you. 

Frosty mornings make horses ridiculously happy.  Windy days make cats ecstatically happy.  Lots of people and lots of (actually very small!) things can make human beings ridiculously or ecstatically happy.

There's no point in trying to 'achieve' happiness.  You just need to accept it and enjoy it when it's given to you.

Spring flowers soon ...

Bill - http://www.therapypartnership.com/

Do The Thing That Scares You

Everybody gets scared.  Everybody gets scared by, or of, something every day.  Being scared is nothing to be ashamed of.  Actually it's an important defence mechanism that's intended to keep people safe, out of danger - alive.

But sometimes that defence mechanism gets out of hand, and becomes too protective.  And allowing that to happen is a very bad idea, because fear can then take over and begin to dictate your behaviour.  Good example: some people allow themselves to develop a fear of open spaces that - over time - becomes acute.  Eventually, they are effectively trapped by their own fear in their own homes.  No lunches or dinners out.  No parties.  No weddings.  No visits to parks or museums or cinemas or shops or beaches. No walks with the dog - or the children.  No sunny days in the garden.  Just a house - where quite often all the curtains are drawn to shut out the outside.   

It's quite possible to get so scared of something, or of doing something, that whole areas of your life become coloured and determined by that fear.  And your life becomes narrower, and less enjoyable as a result.

The important thing to understand about fear is that it tends to vanish if it is confronted, and nothing bad happens as a result of that confrontation.

If something scares you - and believe me plenty of things scare me! - confront it.  If you confront your fear, you will vanquish it, it will disappear, and you will be free to live your life to the full.  It isn't easy to take that first step, but you'll never regret doing the thing that scares you.  And you can always ask a friend to help you take that important first step.  Your friend is scared of something, too - and maybe you can help in return!

Bill - http://www.therapypartnership.com/